Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in a studio in Carmarthen with Eggsy.

Eggsy, what's the date today? / Uh ... the ... let me think now ... the 17th? / 17th or 10th. / Am I right? Am I right? / It is. Saturday, ... / Yes ! / ... 17th of October. It's my birthday tomorrow. And, we should have remembered actually what date it is because about half an hour ago, when we turned up ... remarkably early, both of us, today, you brought me a little cake. / Yeah. I bought a luxurious ... um ... __ coffee __ cake with a gold icing on top. / It is very fancy, mate. / It's very elaborate. It took ... / It's in its own ... it's in its own little ... tub. / It's an individual vacuum-seal containment unit, as I'd like to call it, / It is an individua ... individual vacuum-seal containment __. / Yeah. If it was a green blob from Ghostbusters, that would be the trap, you know. / It would be, mate. It's very impressive. Thank you very very much. Happy birthday, me, for tomorrow. / And, also sharing with, uh ... today is Wyclef Jean of the Fugees'. / Is it Wyclef Jean of the Fugees' ... ? / so __ one day off ... / Today? / Yeah, today. ... I know __ technically __ until November, but it is his birthday today. / Well, while we are here, if anyone else's birthday / today or tomorrow, happy birthday. Uh ... my friends from our school was born on the same day as me, A__ M__, happy birthday to him __ __ here, Chris __ Jones, happy birthday to him ... / __ __ / __ ... Just to show that it's not just my friends that I do it for, Martina Navrátilová, also born on 18th of October. Happy birthday, Martina. / I think Gregg Wallace from MasterChef ... / She's a regular ... / I think ... / ... regular listener. / I think Gregg Wallace __ MasterChef 's is ... is today as well. / How would you know that? / I'm just a big fan of __. / See, I know it. I know about Martina Navrátilová 'cause, when I was a kid, "Huh, look, Martina Navrátilová was born on the same day as me." That makes sense. But why would you know ... / I ... / ... that today is Gregg Wallace's birthday, from MasterChef? / I've ... big fan of Wyclef, saw that in the paper, and, underneath, they did mention Gregg. So, I've seen it in the paper. But my birthday ... / Huh, OK. / my birthday, um ... I share ... / This isn't about you, mate. / I was just gonna tell you who I share it with. I'm very excited. ... I think I share it with one of the guys from ... / You think you share ... ? / because there are two guys in Miami Vice / Yeah? / Right? / Don Johnson and the other bloke. / Crockett and Tubbs. / Crockett and Tubbs, yeah. / OK? / Yeah. / I share my birthday with either Crockett or Tubbs. I can never remember which one. So, every year, when I get a little bit drunk, "Guys, you know what? I've got the same birthday as Crockett or Tubbs." / ... Somebody out there can ... can ... / __ __ / ... put this to the sword for us immediately. When's your birthday? / May 19th. / May 19th? / May 19th. / OK. First quiz today, ladies and gentlemen ... it's Miami Vice Quiz. / Crocket or Tubbs? / Is it Crockett or Tubbs ? / Yeah. / __ __ / First answer wins no prize whatsoever. 8 10 12 on the text. / This is a strong show so far. / It's a good show already. / Very good. / We've never launched a fea ... feature so early. / It is brilliant. / Uh ... / Crockett or Tubbs? You decide. / You could tweet the show ... uh, you can't 'decide'. ... __ give us the answer / give us a try / yeah / Crockett or Tubbs / which one Eggsy shares his birthday with. / OK. / @rhodgilbertshow, tweet the show. You can email the show, r h o d, rhodgilbert@bbc.co.uk . ... Coming up on the show today, we've got quizzes, we've got features, we've got Last Note Standing, we've got Celebrity Out Of Context Bingos. I, ... it's been ... uh ... I've been off for a couple of weeks. I'll be, uh, telling you all about that. I'm sure you're itching to know, uh, where I've been. / Have you had a good time? / I've had a good time. / Great. / I'll keep it brief. / Great. / I'll keep it brief for I've been ... what a lovely time to be on holiday. Uh ... but, I've had a lot in, uh, come in ... since I've been away, a lot of Celebrity Out Of Bingos have come in, and they are mighty fine. / __ ... there was a lot ... / laughing out loud I was, reading them earlier. Thank you, listeners. / I don't wanna ... I don't wanna see any of these until they're unleashed later on. / I'm gonna unleash them.

(3:30)

And now then, gosh, what a busy show we've got today ! __ ... I don't say that often. Usually, ladies and gentlemen, I'm frailing by this point. / But we ... we've got something ... we've got some ... what I would call 'content' in __ ... in __ __ __. / We have got content, which is always a worry, I find. It ... when I do this show, um, it, sort of, survives on a lack of preparation ... and just a roll of newspapers all over the floor, and somehow ... somehow we, kind of, get through it, don't we? __ __ for the moment __ suggesting it's good / get through it __ today, I feel like __ a lot of stuff going on. It's ... obviously, it's a big big big big day. If you're interested in, uh ... in, uh ... rugby, or in, uh ... big sport events generally, then, uh, Wales take on South Africa. / Huh. / So, South Africa take on Wales. This afternoon is the quarter-finals of the world cup, rugby world cup, if you are not aware of it. Um ... and, uh, people are getting ... people are getting ... ooo, people are getting bui__up __ ... we need to pace ourselves, right, everyone? / Yeah. / Uh ... "Morning, Rhod and Eggsy. Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday for tomorrow." __ __ / That's a nice standard message there. / Nice, standard ... / Nothing weird, nothing crazy, just a good standard message gets us going nicely. / Good start. I ... I sound upbeat today. I've got a feeling __ __ come in for criticism. / Something ... / 'cause I've been on holiday, mate. / Well, you've come off / holiday / positive vibe. It's all good. / Yeah. / Make the most out of it because, in three weeks' time, / dark outside, it__ be raining / you will be back to yourself / すぐにいつもの自分を取り戻すよ。 / but I like autumns, my favorite season. / It's good now. It's really good now. But, you know, just ... just / it'll get worse. / Thank god for that. / It'll get worse, yeah. / Thank god. / Don't worry. Rhod will be horrible again soon. / 皆さん、ご心配なく。ロッドはすぐにイヤなヤツに戻ります。 / Listen, we've got loads today. Celebrity Out Of Context Bingos ... __ ... I think I've got a quiz for you. Dog Quiz. / I love ... you know, I love quiz. I'm very excited about quiz at the moment. And Dog Quiz is gonna be great. / I'm quite excited about Dog Quiz. / OK. Uh ... is this one of those / one question that lasted three seconds / __ / Is it ... is it quite a largy-sizy quiz? / Well, I'll ... I'll ... I'll be honest with you. I've prepared it ... / Huh. / ... this show started four minutes past 11 (11:04) / y__ / I prepared it during the sport__ section of the news. / This is a strong contender for the best part of the show. / I started preparing it at 11:03, and I finished it when we came on air at 11:04 / Makes it even better. Makes it even better. Brilliant. / but __ __ six quistions __ __ roughly. / 'Roughly' ? A bit of a pun there. Dog Quiz, ruff-ly. ... / I'll tell you what. ... / ... comedy basic. / I'll tell you what. It'll get better, to be honest with you. / Hopefully, yeah. / Uh ... have a little respect for the listeners.

(5:36)

Yes, it's Wales-South Africa today. __ ... build up, build up, build up, get tense, eh? You've gotta do something __ ... do press-ups. / Do __ __ __ pump. / Pump it. / Do a bit of ... do a bit of ... maybe, if you've got time, install some sort of bar across the ... the doorway and do chin-ups or something / Huh, chin-ups? / __ really __ / No, don't do that, actually. / if you've got / proper equipment, do it. / Only do it if you've got the proper equipment / One of those ... / and you can get good purchase, because those things, where you put a bar up ... / Huh, / you see on Youtube / Yeah. Oh, you see ... you see ... / sort of thing advertized on shopping channels, ... and, it's ... __ __ suction cups or something like that, and you buy it for 14 quid ... / Yeah. They're inadequate. / I know, I know. / __ I don't know __ __ __here, I don't know what adverts you are talking about. / just, just ... / I've seen on Youtube. You see people __ __ ... there, on Youtube, ... kids, usually teenagers, about 17, they were in a __ ... / Yeah, / ... jump up onto the bar ... / Yeah / B__ ! The bar comes down __ __ __ onto the floor, and get up __ __ I hope they're all right. / To save yourself ... / usually laughter __ __ OK. / get a friend or a loved one just to sit on or hold your feet down and just do pull-ups. It's a lot safer. / I wouldn't even try ... I've got a slipped disk. I wouldn't ... honestly ... __ my recommendation is this, / Yeah, go on. / ... I wouldn't do anything at all. / All right. If you ... / I'm not a doctor. / if you wanna __ ever so __, two bags of flour and just lift up and down while you're watching the rugby. / Even that, I wouldn't. / Really? Wouldn't go that far? / No. / OK. You don't ... don't wanna get hurt? / I ... I sometimes think that just flexing is enough. / Do you know what? You may be right in many ways. I think __ __ good stretch when you get up in the morning, the rest is fine. / Yeah. / __ you don't need to do anything else. / __ __ go back to bed. / __ __ / So, get up, stretch, / Huh, / flex, / Huh huh, / back to bed. / And a nice bowl of cereal. / That should find you lead a long and happy life. / Wonderful. / Uh, let ... @rhodgilbertshow, somebody's tweeted here. Andrew P__ @p__ ... uh ... @rhodgilbertshow, "Hi Rhod, I'll be watching the rugby from Bahrain RFC. / Wow. Get in. / Wow. Bahrain in the, uh, in the Middle East. / Very elaborate. / Uh ... Rugby Football ... well, all right. __ __ __ show off, mate. / Yeah. It's fair enough. / If / showing off stakes, I watched last week's game, __ versus Australia, / have a guess __ where I was watching the game and with who. / OK. Last week. / show off / you are in / Bahrain Rugby Football Club, __ __ __ __ where I was / was it local ... uh ... / No. / ... within the 50 mile radius ? / No. / 250 miles radius? / No. / 4,000 miles? / ... I don't know. / OK. ... Would you say it was outside the UK? / ... If ... if I'm not sure whether / 4,000 miles / Good. Strong. Um ... / So, I'll just tell you. / Yeah, go on. / I watched last week's game ... / Huh huh, / ... uh ... in New York. / Posh. / Brooklyn. / Oh. "Hey, how're you doing, huh? How're you doing? What's going on?" ... Wh ... what ... what ... / __ __ ... / Was it, like, three people watching? / I __ the game / Yeah. "Hey, what is this? Like, uh ... this is like soccer, right? How ... / You know who was in the pub with me? / Who was in the pub? / Matthew Rhys, the actor. / OK. And by pure coincidence? / Uh ... no. / Did you, sort of, rang each other __ __ __ __ / arranged things. I'm ... I'm a patron of __, he's a patron of __, / get together / we met up. / How __ __ Americans __ __ / Other charities are available / ever Americans / other Americans / watching the rugby ... uh, did they take any interest? / there was a guy in __ Welsh top. / OK. / American. / And was he ... did he come out and say, "Hey, you're from the UK? I'm Irish, too, buddy. / No. I didn't talk to him at all. / OK. That's good. I'd like to see that. That's __ sort __ __ tube train in London. Don't look at anyone in the eye. Don't talk to them. / I, uh ... yeah, I watched the ... I watched the __ __ __ like / half / in the morning / quarter to twelve / that's a funny time, yeah. / Didn't stop me. I'll tell you what. I was on it. / __ __? / I was all over it. / get in / two bags of flour, flexing your m__s. Wonderful. / ... Uh ... anyway, __ __ enough __ show off __ ... uh ... hey, enjoy the game in Bahrain. Enjoy the game wherever you're gonna watch. I'm gonna watch it down here in, uh, Carmarthen, I think. We are, today, at the studio in, uh, Carmarthen. It's very exciting. I'm sorry for those who're not into rugby. It is very exciting. Give us that. I'm sorry that England __ __ out. I __ it's a shame __ __ world cup when, uh, the home team goes out. It really is. Um ... but, uh, you know, it's exci ... it's exciting for us, isn't it? It's exciting today __ __ ... / It is, yeah. / ... quarter-final. ... Anyway, good luck, good luck, good luck, buid up, flex, tense up, back to bed.

(9:18)

Let's have a light-hearted gamble through the newspapers. / __, I like this. Um ... / What have you got? / I've got some good stuff ... something about a brain machine, something about a theme park and something about an alien ... that's ... that's quite interesting. / I knew you would have something about an alien. / I love a good alien. / There's one thing I know about you. / Oh yeah? / You like aliens and I like animals. / Yeah. It's nice. ... I ... I like animals as well. / __ __ __ __ ... I like animals. / Yeah. I like a good old ... Have you got, uh, ... animal news? / Well, on the subject of animals ... / Go on. / ... Daily Express today is bizarrely ... I mean, they often ... they often offer things like free pasty on the front of the Daily Express ... / ... which is __ strong contender for selling newspapers ... / Listen. In these days of austerity, they are not to be knocked. / Any ... any ... / free soup pot ... free soup pot and spoon for every reader, today, in the front of Daily Express, but also, ... and it's this that I found interesting. ... Everyone likes soup. Would you agree? / Ev ... everyone loves soup, yeah. / Everyone needs a soup spoon. Would you agree? / Indeed, yes. / I mean, it's less certain ... / I mean, the spoon they're giving away, ... is it a solid metal spoon or a plastic one? ... Do they ... do they ... / I haven't got into it. / All right. OK. That's fair enough / I haven't got into it. / Yeah. / What I do like, though, / Huh, / on the front of Daily Express ... other newspapers are available ... / There are loads. There are tons / Uh ... there are tons. ... is, "Free cat food for every reader". / キャットフードをプレゼント / Get in. ... So, you ... you ... you ... even if you haven't got a cat, you can get free cat food? / n't / "for your cat" / just / for every reader / free cat food. / That's amazing. / Really? Have we reached those ... uh ... / that's ... / I know / That's perfect. / I know time is tough, but ... "Free cat food for every reader", it says here. / Because __ __ ... essentially, if you, um, / soup __ __ really light / OK? / Yeah. / So, if you want something a little bit more substantial, why not make the soup up with a cat food to create a lovely sort of, ... a meatier broth? / Well, uh ... / I know it's not very nice, but it's an option. / It could marginally improve the cat food, I suppose. / let's ... check this out. You are in the SAS / You are on a special survival mission in the woods, and you've been __ __ for three days just eating berries ... you come across that newspaper ... / Huh. You find the ... you find a copy of Daily Express in a hedge? / Yes. / This is like one of those, um ... / Adventure fantasy books? / Adventure ... well, partly __ __ adventure fancy books. What I was going to say was __ __ one of those initiative tests. You are in the SAS / Yeah, yeah. / you are in the SAS / you are out on a mi ... / a training mission. / Yeah, training mission, yeah. / In a hedge, / Huh huh, / __ __ blinking beacon / you find a copy of Daily Express, and, in the front page, it says, "Free cat food for every reader" / Yeah. / Do you write __ and apply for it, / Yeah, / ... giving your address as "The hedge", / Huh huh, / ... blinking beacons ... / Yeah, yeah. / ... or do you think, uh, "I'm in the SAS. I should be ... I should be above that kind of thing. / I ... technically, ... if I __ __ __ / I ... I'd send off / both / crave / wonderful meaty b__, um ... I ... I could there ... I could therefore survive for longer, and I go back to base, and it'd be like, "OK. You stayed out ..." So, it'd be like, "Terry, you stayed out two days. 4 points. Paul, you stayed out 3 days. Uh, 3 points, or whatever, and they get to me, and they__ be like, "Hoh. You stayed out six days / gold star / How did you do it? / Free soup and meat. ... Cat meat. / It was all down to the Daily Express, sir. / Exactly. __ __ __ meaty b__ / every SAS soldier carries a copy of __ Daily Express with him __ __ mind from now on / other papers are available / often now / that is true / Uh ... come on, what is your alien story? / alien story / very quick one. I really like this. / Can I just ask you, Eggsy? / Yeah. / What is ... you know, what is your fascination with the aliens? Where does it come from? / Right. ... As a child, um, I watched the film E.T. and it terrified me. And it's just, it ... / It terrified you? / It terri ... because a lot of people loved E.T., right? You know. Just to ... / Yeah. E.T. was generally not ... not a horror film to many people __ __ ... / but, in fact, this ... this kid is hanging out with his family, and then this thing that looks like a shaved cat, is hiding in his cupboard ... / Yeah. / ... it ... outside ... What I couldn't understand is, he's roughly the same age as me ... / It's not frightening, though, ... E.T. is it? / It's terrifying. It looked like __ __ __ smells like, uh, DFS leather sofas coming at you with a glow in the dark chest, and ... / I don't think ... I don't think the smell of D__ leather sofa is that scary, either, __ __. / __ __ __ smell is quite ... quite pleasant, actually. / I've never seen a horror film __ somebody walk in your room / we've gotta get out / I / smell / of leather / Quick ! Go ! ... Yeah. / "What's that?" "Oh, I think ... I think it's new leather. / But ... but, I think ... / ... the fresh car ... the new car smell. / __ __ really gets me __ __ m__ terrifying image that really struck __ pure fear into my heart, was, the bit where, um, ... they try to hide E.T. in the toy cupboard, and they put a wig and a hat and make-up on it, and it's hidden ... I don't know if you remember the scene ... / I do, I do. / terrifying. Terrifying. / and I ... I think you must be ... possibly the only person on Earth who found that terrifying __ / __ __ __ __ imagine, right? ... OK, OK, imagine your ... / To everybody else, it was a really cute, amusing little film ... of a lovely, friendly ... child-friendly ... / __ __ shaved cat on its back legs ... / ... loving alien who they dressed up amusingly ... amusingly in ladies' outfit to __ ... to ... just to hide it. That's what it was. / Anything ... anything / hiding in a cupboard, uh, or in a shed and does this ... aghhggggg, and then __ __ kind of a psychic bond with a kid when he was in school / when / after __ drinking four cans / m__ / kid / chaos / That's mind-control. That / m__ a planet, controlling a child's mind. ... Take a ax to it. That's what I say. Hack it up into pieces and call the police. / Don't, uh ... ladies and gents ... don't take an ax to E.T. or anything. / And, also, incidentally, today, E.T. ... / People apparently are calling for sequel to E.T. / They are calling for a sequel to E.T. / Well, let's hope you don't get the script. / Do you know what'd happen if I did it? / I know exactly what would happen to it. / __ __ __ / You'd turn it into a cross between XXXX and XXXX. / Oh yeah. ... That would be fantastic, wouldn't it? / No. / Spielberg, give me a call. / No, it wouldn't, mate. / Whatever. That ... / I've got a story here. / Yeah? I didn't even get around to my story __ but yeah, go on. / I tell my story? / Yeah. Go on, then. / A boy of thirteen left a note for his mom that he was an alien prince who'd gone to his own planet and ran away in China. / A boy of thirteen left a note for his mom that he __ an alien prince / away / another planet? / Yeah. "Mom, I'm actually an alien prince." / And what did they do? / ... doesn't ... no ... nothing else. No other information there. / story / There you go. Nothing else. That's it. / A boy of thirteen / left a note for his mom, / Huh huh, / ... saying that he was an alien prince ... / Yes. / __ gone to his own planet' / Yes, / ... and ran away." ... So, he did run away? / He did. He did. So, um ... you know, I'd ... / I __ r__ away from home. Did you ever run away home? / Uh ... no. I ... my sister hid under the bed once. That's the closest any of us got to running away __ __ / A friend of mine once spent a night in __ park / film Rambo __ __ wanted to prove himself __ __ __ __ survival. Uh ... but, um ... I never ran away from home, no. Did ... You did a full runaway, did you? / Yeah. full runaway. / __ __ what did you do __ __ D__ __ stick with a ... with a hankerchief __ __? / Literally, / Yeah? / literally, / Huh, / literally, a bamboo stick ... / Brilliant. / ... with a hanky on the top ... / Awesome. / ... with supplies in it. / Brilliant. / I ran away from home. / Yeah. / I left home __ __ ... and sat on the step, looking into the kitchen, / Yeah, / we were sat there. / Yeah. / That was where I chose to set up my camp ... / Brilliant. / ... looking through the kitchen window ... full view of my parents. I ran away there, for ... maybe an hour. / That's good. / Yeah. / That's very good. / I can't remember what was in the D__ thing. / Technically, it should be a piece of, um, slightly stale bread and a block of cheese, and ... / Yeah? / ... maybe a gold coin. / It wasn't that. / You might even get some magic beans at some point, but there would be a bartering system. You would get them from a strange farmer later on. / It wasn't ... it wasn't that. I genuinely can't remember what it was. But I did literally have a stick with a handkerchief on it. / Huh, that's the way to do it. If you ever get away from home, stick __ __ hankerchief. / Yeah. Do it in style.

(16:20)

My story / in the paper / look at this / I'll tell you why / it's not ... it's not __ story. That is the thing / I like non-news / so much that / reminds me something. / Yeah. / it says, "The night a sleepy fox / That sounds quite nice. / essentially, the ... it's all __ the headline. ... So, the bloke __ asleep / all / or something / be careful, people, / worms or something / So, be careful if that happens. ... But, on a related point ... My wife was telling me a story about somebody ... I can't remember __ __ friend of hers / she saw / or what / yeah / ... or where she got it / but this girl had a snake. / Oh, no. / Have you heard it? / Oh / it might be an urban ... / go on, tell me, tell me. / It might be an apo__ tale / tell me yours first / well, we haven't got time for yours / news / coming up / go on, go on, tell me, tell me / time for mine / slowly. / Do it. / Right. So, this girl's got a snake / yeah / right / if you're driving, pull over. / right / not / start / if you are at home, start driving somewhere. / Yeah. / If you're driving, pull over. / if / shop / stop what you're doing / get into a shop, right? So, in other words, / change what you're doing / got / put a skirt on. / Exactly. / Right? / get a boob tube __ __ / If you / radio, switch it off. / And switch it back on. OK. / So, the girl's got a snake. / Yeah. / pet snake. / She loves that snake / let's call __ Terry for the sake of the story / Every night / put / sleep / snake pyjamas / in his / box / I was thinking / fine / pyjamas and milk, yeah. / Right? / every / wakes up / the snake ... Quite often / my dog / bed with me / They do. They like to get cozy. / like that fox / dog was just lying / this is what happened __ this girl's snake / right? The snake ... every / morning / bed / lying next to her / how cute / Yeah, how nice, yeah. / How sweet is that? / Yeah. / cold-blooded / my little lovely / my lovely / ... hissing ... / lovely snake / yeah / And then, apparently, ... after ... I don't how long __ is / let's say three months / let's say three months. / Yeah. / Apparently / that the reason __ the snake / in bed / go on, go on / measure up if he can swallow / if / It's not ... it's not good. It's not good / Isn't that the most spine-chilling, blood-curdling thing you could ever imagine? Your little pet / what if / dog's doing that / you just blow my mind. / It's horrible, innit? / I've got ... I've got / a little bit / cold sweat / my arms / snake story / scary / time / we can't get another track / a friend of mine / snake / Is it as chilling? / It's more fascinating. / Huh. / Well, I do love animals / snake / Great times. / he / little snake cage / you don't keep snakes / in a cage, mate. / Uh, sorry / big problem with that / glass tank / OK / kept / there / one day / got a phone call / guy / beneath / snake / my chimney / common / right? / went down there, found the snake, "Sorry about that.", took it back upstairs / opened / snake a__m / opened / identical snake / neighbour's house / fireplace / happily now / he's got / double-snake. That's crazy, isn't it? / come / Nobody knows. / I / cloning device going on there. ... Yeah. / I thought you might have some logical / explanation / isn't that weird? / lost / snake / the neighbour found / nothing to do / first thing / do / check / just / through / Oh, all right, um ... / just walking through the front door / I found __ snake / "What do you mean?" / found / snake / found it / Double-snake.

We've got some / I like / got / explanation / people who don't know what it is / Celebrity Out Of Context is, you tell me if you've seen a celebrity that you think was especially out of context / seeing a celebrity on a bus / big a__ / big, big controversies, arguments, debates, amongst listeners / myself / co-hosts / yeah / about what qualifies / out of context / be / ironically out of context / or could it just be / out of context / I think / essentially, we / even re-named it, CIOOCB, Celebrity Ironically Out Of Context Bingo / for a short period / re-branded for a while / re-branded for a while / I reverted it to the original branding / snappy / Bingo / like / Coca-Cola going back to Coke Classic / exactly / same as the massive soft drinks firm / celebrity / I saw Lloyd Langford / co-host this show with me, lives in a flat / and he's a very good friend of mine / also / standup comedian / I was / on Wednesday / who / sitting down / whole time even / he / standup / doesn't really, though / you know, and he does sit an aweful lot / but that's just __ name / look / do standup sitting down / somebody, like / face / his name / Irish guy / スタンドアップ芸人ったって、ステージで座ってやるヤツもいるんだから / Dave __ / Dave __ / I can't remember / I can't ... I can't move on / this / Dave / of / thank god / of / two and a half hours / Agonizing. / Yeah. / Uh ... "Does this count / I don't think it does / Lloyd does sit down a lot / called / fact / can we give him / half / half a point / I / OK / get / for trying / have / help his life, but ... you know. / ... Now then, / some more celebrity out of context bingos / right / OK / now / this is the part / rifle through / looking like a ferret / exposed / in front of you / OK / you / that / all about me, right? / put / just / looking around the floor / the mess / where are they? Where are they? / nice to see / microphone / like you / just lost it momentarily / good / here we go / OK. Here we go. / got / here. / OK. / Right? / __, look at this / that's what / do / me / ceremony / "With reference to / ongoing / bingo / feature / I wish to put forward / recent sighting / I don't know who this is, by the way. / D__ from MasterChef / I don't know who D__ __ __ is / big / only because / right / OK. / let's / obviously / must be one of the contestants / unless he's one of / unless they've changed the whole / friends / yeah / new host / これ、誰だろ？/ マスターシェフの挑戦者の一人だよ、きっと。 / まてよ、最近、司会が交代したってことはないか？ / what I'm thinking / lots of brands are available / D__ / which / like ... sort of, like, / but it's not. So, you know ... / hey, / careful / do / plenty of meat suppliers out there / recent sighting of D__ from MasterChef entering a high-speed pizza chain in Cardiff Bay. / ironically out of context / rather than just out of context / Regards, Alex / going in a ... going in a quicky pizza / takeaway / places / know / know / high / not beans and toasts / high / high-speed pizza chain / give / point / Go on. / new point system now / to prove / just / on a piece of paper / point / point system / get some feedback from people / new point system / but it's been initiated / by Eggsy / allocating half a point / was it Dave? / Chris / Chris / got / Chris __ __ half a point / Alex's got a point / do / new / system / ok / is that / we / award points / Yeah. / half a point for Chris / 1 point for Alex / Yeah. / we'd have a winner at the end of the show / encourage people to listen / you're right. / Here's / of all time / laughing at / start / the show / there were three / before / this is good / last few weeks ... / all right / while I've been away. ... Get ready / point / at the moment, Alex / be prepared / blown / let me / clean / a bit / Alex's got 1 / 1 ... point / Chris in Cardiff / got half a point / this competition is very good / it's __ing up / OK / __ __ for __ next contestant / bring / next contestant / Stewart / Stewart ... OK. / name / get ready / high number of points / let's / it's / out of 3 / no, it's not / made that up / infinite number of points / I like it. Yeah. / OK. / announce / winner / end of the show / three seconds / this is good. / "Hi Rhod and pal." It came in a while ago. / That's fine / any offense / named after / "Regarding Celebrity Out Of Context Bingo: I was / queuing / passport control / H__ Terminal 5, and I saw / the actor Martin Freeman / office / great / TV. Yeah. / came through the fast track at Heathrow Terminal 5 / Huh huh. / at / height of his fame in The Hobbit films / a very recognizable face. I think you'll agree. / well / turned out not to be the case / when / several times to go through the automatic facial recognition system / failed / recognize / I reckon / give him / 20. ... He's got 20 points. / Oh, god. Is it just me? ... Ironic / that is, I think, one of the best / he's got 20 points / very recognizable face / recognized by the facial recognition at Heathrow Airport / fair 20 point__ / I'll tell you what. I have got some that are going to challenge that / strongest point / I don't know. / OK. / I don't know. That one really makes me laugh. / "Hey, Rhod / listening to your show. The children (Samuel and Scarlet) keep asking when you're gonna finish ... so they can watch CBBC. / Huh. / But __ __ is on. So, ... / Oh. / stand a chance / what / idea / watching __ on a Saturday afternoon is lovely. I think that's ... that's a lovely way to spend / quite nice. / a little blanket on / a bit of cake / get in there / that's ... that's brilliant / live in / dream / Huh, lovely / Wonderful. __'s bottom / lovely / wonderful / Celebrity Out Of Context / ladies and gentlemen / at the moment / today / new format / bingo / now we are awarding points / huh / and announcing / winner / ongoing leader board, which ... / Huh. / ... which Eggsy / started / I / At the moment / Chris / Yeah. Stewart ... / whopping 20 points / with Martin Freeman not being recognized by a facial recognition system / M__ __'s face. / awesome / Awesome. ... OK, here's one / uh, this is from, uh, Jeff C__ / I saw __ from the moderately successful __ band GLC / familiar / Eggsy / part / waiting / Indian takeaway last week / the show / before / how many points / give / takeaway. He wasn't ... you know. / Don't give him anything / not at all out of context / I imagine / probably / a lot of takeaways / actually / -1 point, Jeff. / Jeff, you're -1, Jeff. ... Sorry, sorry, bro / I could have helpt you out there, but sorry / plus I / before / you know / dead in the war. Jeff ... Jeff, -1. / uh ... so, / OK. / Here's a good one / OK. / Get ready / "Hello, Rhod and Eggsy / Hi, / I love the show, etc. / Huh, etc.? / I want to present my entry / Celebrity Out Of Context Bingo for your inspection / building / drama / building a drama / around 20 years ago / another one of these / every now and again / trickle in / keep coming / this is good / this is good. This is brilliant / this / as well / 20 years ago, I saw Barry Chuckle (of the Chckle Brothers) / in __ / Oh. What a place. / I think they / they often get spotted / Yeah, yeah. / despite the fact that this was at the height of the C__ Brothers' fame, ... / Yeah, / B__ was carrying his own s__case / he was neither passing it to or receiving it from Paul Chuckle, his brother / in a to-me-,-to-you style / was / that he saw? / one / say / actually, yeah / I hope / appreciate / at the time. Best wishes, Andy B__ / jot / down / strong 15. ... I think / I don't think it's / 15 / What would you reckon? / I think / 10 / all / half / I like that one / just / fact that / of course / C__ Brothers / always gets a couple of points / so / OK. Get ready / a lot of points / here we go / been waiting for this / get ready for a lot of points / build it up, build it up now / This is from P__ in H__, C__ / already / already / Great name. Great location / also adds / credibility to his claim / the fact that / in C__ / this / already / three / need a lot more points than that, mate. / start / already got / 3 / OK. / give / give / 2 / ２本立て / one of them is ... OK, / give / one of them / give / second one first / good / build / I was sat __ a table next to / at a restaurant last week / nothing strange about that, you may think / talking sense and being reasonably humble. ... OK, / need / point for that / here's / next one / points / Here we go / I once saw Michael J. Fox / in the Present Day. This was three years ago.

Dog Quiz / Oh, yes. / time for Dog Quiz / get / subject of / this is / for / I've been asked to mention Jason M__'s / dog / just / that's what they do, right? / give me / you know / driving down / there / this is from __, the producer / OK, yeah. / look after / Eggsy / drive down / Yeah. Cool. / which we've done / we've done that / We've done __ really well / says / can / a dog / a bit random ... a bit random / 「ジェイソンが犬を飼い始めた」ことに触れてくれ、と頼まれたんだが ... / ちょっと脈絡がないね。 / just like / like / radio / cross-reference between different programmes / and that's ... / new show called / which / which, I presume / presume / medical condition / I presume / and / poodle / cross between / very popular these days / apparently / been banging on about / all week / and / interested / you wait, Jason / end up / you wait / comes in your house / change your mind / Dog Quiz / OK. Here we go. / very excited / OK, kids, Dog Quiz is on. Today's quiz is called Dog Quiz. I prepared __ in 1 minute / earlier / build / OK, let's go. / 1 / Right? / is an African ... an African kinda dog. / Yeah. / the Basenji / right / yeah / Uh ... they're sometimes called the barkless dog / African / dog / Yes, / They ... they don't bark. / Yeah, / What __ __ do? ... Question 1. Dog Quiz. / they don't bark ... they don't bark ... / OK. They don't bark / communicate somehow / good / they just ... they breathe heavily. They'd ... XXX XXX / if they did that, all ... all of them / weary / ok / Uh, no no no no no. / do / they have, um, uh ... / large __ tails / communicate / not / OK / good guess. / They / because / mean / mean / like a p__la / I don't know what that means / they can ... / take off / they can ... um ... / I / put / 10 seconds on this / they can change / fur color / they can use __ psychic bond between their owner and themselves / create communication like / they / walk on two legs / you are right / have to communicate somehow / because they yodel. / Oh. / OK / I don't know how well / yodel, mate / OK All right. / know / pair of leather shorts / get away with it / その犬にオーストリアの民族衣装を着せて歌わせて正体がバレないか、それはわからない。 / OK / go on / None out of 1. / OK / the bloodhound / sniff / sniffing power / bloodhound / good sense of smell / put to use / in a n__ way / water / these questions / ridiculous / bloodhound / OK. / Right? / south / water company / Apparently, he can detect what in water pipes and s__? / think / specifically detecting cracks in water pipes and sew__. ... That's what / I think / superior sense of smell / I think / I think, if there is leak / liquid / come out / damp / therefore he can smell the crack / in the pipe. / None out of two. / come on / who works for / south England / he locates big blobs of fat. / Oh, that's ... oh. / often caused by big / sniffs them out / fat-sniffer / OK, OK. / He's nothing but a fat-sniffer / OK / next / Question 3. / Right. OK. / Where does the word "dog", the English word "dog", come from? / I know this / Dog Quiz ! / "dog" come from? ... Ohggg, come on / Dog Quiz ! / I know this / where / told / remember / Will you saying that? / it's really getting / me now / it's something to do with / something to do with / and Vikings and something like that. / None out of three. / and / annoying / Yeah? / nobody knows where the English word "dog" / Oh. OK, OK. / Nobody knows. / there's nothing like it / in any related Germanic languages / as did the until "hound" mysteriously be ... began to make way for dog in Old English / nobody / OK / OK / None out of three. / come / do / name / first __, who died / 1947 / ... Tony? / No. / ... Gary? / No. / Ian / Robert / Jimmy / kept / along those bizarr__y human names / let me give you a clue. / Yeah. / desparately / brilliant / any point / too much of a clue / OK. All right. / last question / last question / go on, yeah. / come on / do this / dog / Uh ... what did they find in his stomach ? / They found three things in his stomach / Right. ... / p__ stones or j__s / No. / was that ... / seconds / was ... was there / the keys to ... uh ... __ __ F__ T__ / No. Another good guess / of Jurassic Park / was there / Mate, he's a dog, not a boot __. ... He's not a car boot / was there / Time's up / Uhhh. Go on. / 答えは何？ / B__ / in / found / two pairs of black cotton underpants / in his stomach / Wow. What's going on there? That's shocking. / enjoyed it nonetheless.

if / whole show / Saturday mornings, BBC Radio Wales, 11 till 1.

よろしければこちらもどうぞ↓

Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits エピソード・リスト